Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Necisito un poco mas mate de coca, por favor.

Day two in Cusco.

I am pleased to say that there is little excitement to report for today. We spent the day relaxing, resting, walking the city and eating.

The second group of students arrived this afternoon (their flight was cancelled yesterday!), so we are now a whole unit again, which is nice.

A few of us are sick, including my roommate, Ani. I was able to scour up some Latin American Pepto Bismol (known as Nulacin) and Gatorade from the local pharmacy, IncaPharma. Hopefully I helped!

I also went shopping for more tacky souvenirs, including chullo hats, alpaca wool shoes, alpaca wool sweaters, chintzy bottle openers, and some knitted finger puppets.

Aside from all that, I'm irritated today. I want to go home. I'm tired of being around people. I want to be alone. I'm tired of speaking Spanish and not understanding anything because I'm too stupid to figure any of it out. I'm tired of the traffic here and the noise. And the street vendors that harass you from the moment you step out the front door to the moment you return. I'm irritated that I can't eat certain things and always have to watch out for food poisoning and the water and whatever. I'm sick of traveling. I'm sick of this hotel. I want to run, but I don't really see it as feasible since there's no place to actually do it. I'm tired of everyone bugging me while I'm trying to video chat (LEAVE ME ALONE). Or telling me things. Or trying to give me advice that I don't even remotely care about. Or talking to me period. Today was just a hard day. I can't stand anyone right now, hardly even myself. I just want to pick a direction and run and not be interacting with anyone or anything for a few hours. I'm so frustrated and between crying and just heading out into the cold and going as far as I can walk. I don't even know. It's stupid and silly. And everyone tells me I need to enjoy my time here, but I don't think they understand it. I do enjoy my time here. I just want to get away from it all for an hour. Or a day, even better.
I'm just sad. And lonely. And tired.
Going to bed at night makes it all so much worse because I just have to sit there and think about how ridiculously lonely I am. I dread it. I don't even want to sleep. I don't want to get up tomorrow and go to any museum. I want to go AWAY.

Only 19 more days to endure though. It feels like forever.

Hopefully I'll have a happier entry tomorrow. Sorry for the silliness. I just needed to vent.

Love,
-B

2 comments:

  1. Brit, hope today is better for you! The city looks amazing, the Italian restaurant sounded wonderful! I think I'll look for alfredo for lunch today.

    Dad

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  2. It happens. Nearly every other day I say, "I hate Germany. I want to leave, NOW."

    Feel better! -Gigantic internet hug- Just think of all the amazing things you're seeing and maybe you'll feel a bit better.

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